Arthur Dies at the End Index

So here’s a heads-up: what you’re looking at here is an index of entries in this blog. They’re a little rushed, a little first-drafty; they’re not the premium experience you want. That premium experience is available in reasonably-priced ebooks with attractive covers!

These ebooks are lovingly handcrafted, free from typos and with every word choice carefully rethought. They are high-end items. They are nice. If you enjoy the finer things in life, you want to enjoy these ebooks.  If you don’t believe me, check out this artisanal link to just the first chapter of the first book of Something About a Sword and a Stone?, the first volume in the series.

Book 1 - Low Res

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Book I — The Obligatory Origin Story

In which Arthur is conceived and born and something about a sword and a stone: 1 2 3 4 5 and 6 7

In which Arthur fights his brothers-in-law 8 8 (continued) and 9 10 10 (continued) and 11 12 and 13 14 15 16 and 17 17 (continued)

In which Arthur meets Pellinore of the Questing Beast, and obtains Excalibur 18 19 and 20 20 (continued) 21 and 22 23 and 24 24 (continued) and 25 25 (continued) 26 and 27

Conclusion.

 

Book II — Sir Balin, Lady Killer

In which we meet Balin, and many questions are raised about the Lady of the Lake 1 2 3 4

In which Balin definitely doesn’t murder a lady 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

In which Balin strikes the dolorous stroke 12 13 14 15

In which Balin finally dies 16 17 18 19

Conclusion

 

Book III — the Greatest Table Ever

In which Guenever has no lines 1 2

In which we meet Tor and Gawaine 3 3 (continued) and 4 5

In which Gawaine goes questing 6 7 8 8 (continued)

In which Tor goes questing 9 10 11

In which Pellinore goes questing 12 13 14 15

Conclusions

Book 2 - Low Res

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Book IV — Nimue!

In which Merlin disappears into a rock 1 1 continued

In which Arthur wins another war 2 3 4 5

In which Arthur has the worst strange adventure ever 6 7 8 9 10 11

In which Morgan le Fay pulls some kind of magic bull hockey 12 13 14 15 16

In which Gawaine is just awful 17 and 18 18 continued and 19 20

In which Gawaine & Ettard & Pellas & Nimue 21 22 22 continued 22 concluded and 23

In which Uwaine and Marhaus are both better than Gawaine 24 25 26 27 28

Conclusions

 

Book V — the Best Years of Arthur’s Life

In which Arthur decides to invade Europe 1 2 3

In which Arthur has a strange adventure in Brittany 4 5 also 5

In which Caesar Lucius screws up big time 6 more 6 7 8 9

In which Gawaine gets bored and wanders off 10 the rest of 10 and 11

In which Arthur wins at everything 12

Conclusions

 

Book VI — Launcelot’s Excellent Adventure

In which Launcelot eventually defeats Turquine 1 2 3 4 and 5 6 and 7 more 7 8 9

In which Launcelot fills out his distribution requirements 10 11 also 11 12 13

In which Launcelot has a legit strange adventure 14 15 more 15

In which Launcelot is outwitted 16 17 18 and conclusions

And more conclusions.

 

Book VII — Prettyboy & the Fabulous L Sisters

In which we meet Gareth and Gareth meets Linet 1 2 3 4 5 6

In which Gareth slowly wins Linet’s respect 7 to 9 10 11

In which Gareth meets Lyonesse 12 and 13 14 15 to 19

In which Gareth’s adventure becomes a weird sex farce 20 21 to 23

In which there’s a gratuitous tournament and a triple wedding 23 to 26 26 to 30 31 to 35

Conclusions

Book 3 - Low Res

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Book VIII — The Story of Tristram and Isoud

In which Tristram is a child 1 2 3 and 4

In which Tristram has his first strange adventure 5 and 6 7 8

In which Tristram meets Isoud 9 10 11 12

In which Tristram antagonizes people needlessly 13 14 15 16 17 and 18

In which Tristram visits Camelot, fetches Isoud, and straight up kills a lady 19 20 21 22 and 23 24 25 26 and 27 28 and 29

In which Tristram and Isoud have an affair 30 31 32 33 34 35

In which Tristram tries to start over with a new Isoud, Isoud the White 36 37 38 39

In which Lamorak is at least as interesting as Tristram 40 41

Conclusions

 

Book IX — The Story of Tristram and Isoud is not over yet for some reason

In which Breunor is basically a less interesting Gareth 1 2 3 4 5 6 and 7 8 and 9

In which Tristram bums around with Lamorak 10 and 11 12 13 and 14 15

In which Tristram meets Nimue 16

In which Tristram goes mad and Isoud gets depression 17 18 19 and 20 21 22

In which Tristram bums around with Dinadan 23 24 25 26 27

In which Tristram and Palomides meet at a tournament 28 through 31 32 33 through 35

In which Tristram is imprisoned 36 36 continued 37

In which Kay makes Mark look like an idiot 38 38 continued 39

In which Tristram meets Morgan le Fay 40 40 continued 41 41 continued 42 43

Conclusions

 

Book X  — In the Shadow of LONAZEP There is Only Suffering

In which Tristram wanders off from Morgan’s plot and picks some fights, the jerk 1 and 2 2 continued

In which Tristram chases the Fair Knight until he gets bored with it, the jerk 3 4 and 5 

In which Tristam acts all unimpressed by Camelot, the jerk 6

In which even Malory is bored of Tristram so we check in on King Mark and his evil plans which turn out to involve pointless wandering 7 and 8 8 through 10 11 12 13 14 and 15

In which Dinadan and Palomides try to go on an adventure together but Lamorak spoils it by being too awesome 16 17 and 18 19 and 20 21

In which Tristram and Mark go back to Cornwall and a miracle happens! 22 23

In which Gawaine murders Lamorak, almost 24 25

In which Mark is thwarted by a novelty song, which is the high point of Book X 26 27 28 through 31

In which Sir Alisander handles Morgan le Fay and King Mark both 32 and 33 34 and 35 36 37 38 39

In which Lamorak frets about getting murdered, plus there’s jousting 40 to 46 46 to 49

In which Isoud finally defeats Mark (!) 50 and 51 52 and 53

In which Lamorak gets actually murdered, finally 53 and 54 55 and 56

In which we build up to… LONAZEP.  57 to 59 60

In which we take a break from LONAZEP. for Palomides to have a strange adventure 61 and 62 63 and 64

In which LONAZEP. Maximum Jousting.  65 and 66 67 to 69 70 to 80

In which Palomides feels sorry for himself 81 and 82 83 and 84 84 to 86 86 to 88

And conclusions.

Book 4 - Low Res

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Book XI — Launcelot’s Bogus Journey

In which a hermit prophecies, Sir Launcelot rescues a woman from a boiling bathtub and kills a dragon and meets up with the rascal King Pellam 1 1 continued 1 continued more

In which Pellam’s daughter Elaine rapes Launcelot, conceiving their son Galahad 2 3 3 continued

In which Sir Bors goes on a fantasy trip, guest-starring the Grail 4 4 and 5 6

In which Elaine either rapes Launcelot again or seduces him for realsies, and he flees in shame 7 8 9

In which Sir Percivale goes on a mostly-unrelated strange adventure with an atypically rich supporting cast 10 11 12 13 and 14

Conclusions

 

Book XII — That’s Me, Mister Guilty!

In which Launcelot makes new friends by screaming at them and trying to murder them 1 1 and 2 2 and 3

In which Elaine and the Grail both show up and one of them fixes Launcelot’s problems and one of them adds to them 4 5

In which Launcelot takes on a new identity, which doesn’t really work out 6 and 7 7 and 8 9 9 and 10

The wholly unrelated, pasted-in super quick finale to the saga of Tristram 11 to 14

Conclusions

 

Book XIII — Grail Grail Grail Grail Grail Grail Grail

In which Launcelot and Galahad meet up again 1

In which there’s a big Pentecost feast, a sword in a stone, and Launcelot utters prophecy 2 3

In which Merlin shows up for a marvelous adventure, which is one level up from strange adventure 3a

In which everyone fawns over Galahad 4 5 6 and 7

In which the GRAIL QUEST officially starts 7a 8

In which we hear about Galahad’s squire and a magic shield 9 10 and 11 11 and 12 13

In which Galahad cleans up the Castle of the Maidens 14 and 15 15a

In which Gawaine embarrasses himself 16

In which Launcelot fails at something for once in his life, also Jesus is there 17 18 19 19 and 20

Conclusions

 

Book XIV — Sir Percivale’s Increasingly Strange Adventures, Culminating in a Twist I For One Did Not See Coming

In which Sir Percivale consults the Queen of the Wilderness, from way back in Book II 1 2

In which Percivale meets a three-hundred year old man and things get weird 3 and 4 4 and 5

In which Percivale has a weird vision 5 and 6 6 and 7 7 continued

In which Percivale meets a nice lady whose secret identity is not the twist I’m talking about 8 9 10

Conclusions

 

Book XV — Sir Launcelot Tries to be a Better Man

In which Launcelot has a vision 1 and 2 2 and 3

In which Nacien explains the vision 4

In which Launcelot jousts but his heart isn’t in it 5 6

Conclusions

 

Book XVI — Sir Bors is All Right

In which Sir Gawaine accomplishes nothing and kills a guy 1 1 and 2 2 and 3 4 and 5

In which Sir Bors resists the temptation of Catherine, the Hot Chick 6 7 7 and 8 8 and 9

In which Sir Bors defeats the Devil and it’s surprisingly easy! 10 11 and 12

In which Sir Bors receives interpretations of a vision he didn’t actually have 12 13

In which Sir Lionel refuses to listen to reason 14 15 and 16 17

Conclusions

 

Book XVII — Sir Galahad and His Two Assistants

In which Sir Galahad fulfills some prophecies 1 2

In which the Grail Knights (and nun) explore a magic ship and fulfill more prophecies 3 4 5 to 7 8 9 10 and 11

In which Sir Launcelot wraps up his end of things 12 and 13 13 and 14 15 16 17

In which the Quest for the Holy Grail ends 18 19 20 21 21 and 22 22 and 23

Conclusions

Book 5 - Low Res

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Book XVIII — Exploding Fruit

In which Sir Launcelot has a big fight with Guenever, complete with a big speech and storming off to sulk 1 and 2

In which Guenever hosts a dinner party that ends with a bang (sorry) and Launcelot has to rescue her 3 4 5 6 7 and 8

In which Launcelot meets the Lady of Shalott 9 10 and 11 12 13 and 14 14 and 15

In which the Lady of Shalott nurses Launcelot back to health and Guenever gets jealous and also the Lady of Shalott dies 15 and 16 17 to 19 20

In which Wonder Woman makes a brief cameo 21 to 25

Conclusions

Book XIX — What the Hell, Sir Meliagrance?

In which Sir Meliagrance kidnaps Guenever, which does not work out for him 1 and 2 3 4 and 5

In which Sir Meliagrance makes more trouble 6 and 7 8 and 9

In which Malory comes up with an excuse to list off all the Knights of the Round Table 10 and 11 11 to 13

Conclusions

Book XX — This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 

In which Sir Mordred and Sir Agravaine ruin everything 1 2 3 and 4 5 and 6

In which Arthur sobs a great deal 7 and 8 9 and 10 11 to 13 14 to 16

In which Sir Launcelot is like, hey, no good reason not to start a civil war at this point 17 and 18 19

In which Sir Gawaine takes a remarkable pounding 20 21 22 and 23

Conclusions

Book XXI — Arthur Dies at the End

In which Sir Mordred very briefly takes center stage 1

In which King Arthur tries a nonviolent resolution to the conflict 2 3 4

In which Arthur goes 5 6 and 7

In which Guenever turns Launcelot down 8 9 and 10

In which we wrap up 11 and 12 13

Final conclusions

Finished 16 September 2014

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