The magical ship deposits Galahad, Magdalena, Percivale, and Bors somewhere in Scotland, at a castle that men call Carteloise.
“Just so you know,” says Mags, “in a minute a bunch of guys are going to attack us because you’re affiliated with Camelot.”
“No problem,” says Galahad. “We’re on the Grail quest! A bunch of guys will break before us like surf on the rocks.”
Sure enough, the people here are not fans of King Arthur, and when Galahad tells the castle’s inhabitants they’re from Camelot, and next thing you know there’s a fight scene. Long story short, the good guys suffer zero casualties and the all the enemy knights are killed. Big pile of bodies.
“Aw, dang it,” says Bors afterwards. “Either we’ve committed terrible sins by just straight up killing a castle full of people, or else…” Bors struggles to come up with an alternative. “Maybe they were all people God hated, so it’s okay, and we were just delivering God’s vengeance.”
“Hey no,” protests Galahad. “You know as well as I do that only God is allowed to deliver God’s vengeance.”
“…I’m not sure that’s a legitimate reason to dispute what I just said.”
And then Nacien shows up, ready to give the knights Mass! Calling this particular white-bearded priest Nacien is maybe a bit of a stretch, but that’s how we roll, so let’s go with it. Nacien is… he’s kind of taken aback by all the corpses.
Galahad kneels, and pulls off his helmet, and motions for Percivale and Bors to do the same (they do). “I know, I know, the dead bodies thing looks bad, but it was only because we’re from Camelot. These guys attacked us, self-defense, that sounds plausible right?”
“It’s not a problem,” Nacien assures him. “These guys weren’t even baptized. They were basically non-people. See, this castle used to belong to Lord Earl Hernox, until recently. Hernox had three sons and a daughter, and those sons really loved the daughter. I mean, they really loved the daughter, like, in the unhealthy way that I’m not going to use the word, but it rhymes with Corn Fest.”
Bors sucks the air in between his teeth, which makes a whistling sound. “Whoa.”
“I know, right? So, she complained to her father, then the sons killed her for telling someone, and then they clapped the father in irons and then they just started killing people randomly. Mostly randomly. Priests more than not.”
“I was just hearing the final deathbed confession of Hernox, in fact, before I came over here. He was all don’t worry Nacien, God has explained to me that three holy servants of the Lord will come and slay my wicked sons. And by this may ye wit that Our lord is not displeased with your deeds.”
“Wait, I was right?” Bors is kind of taken aback. He’d just been spitballing, after all.
Meanwhile, Galahad is relieved. “I can kill bad people all I want and I remain holy! Hurrah!”
Then Hernox himself gets led out, in chains. He’s dying, but he recognizes Galahad immediately on account of an angel told him Galahad was coming! He gets to thank Galahad for being so knightly, and then he dies.