Launcelot doesn’t manage to catch Brisen, and he gives up and leaves eventually. Nine months later, Elaine’s son is born! Everyone thinks he’s awesome. They name him Galahad, which Malory reminds us was Launcelot’s middle name, as seen in Book IV Chapter 1. Malory forgets the details of that chapter and claims that it was Nimue who named him Launcelot, but of course that makes no sense.
Later Elaine’s boyfriend shows up. Elaine has been keeping this guy at arm’s length and he doesn’t know about the pregnancy! His name is, Malory says, is Sir Bromel la Pleche, which might translate as Bromel the Pleasant or maybe Malory was trying to say Bromel from the House with a Hedge Around It. That’s what the Internet tells me.
Anyway, Bromel shows up to propose to Elaine. He’s been meaning to for some time, but she keeps rescheduling on him, and it’s been over nine months since he saw her last, and anyway, long story short, she’s got a kid now.
“Seriously?” Bromel is willing to handle this.
“Also I love him!” cries Elaine. “He is the best knight in the world and also the father of my child and granted, he and I haven’t always seen eye to eye on the whole consent thing, but surely we can work through that.”
“It is Sir Launcelot du Lake that I love and none other, and therefore woo me no longer.”
“I have no idea who this Launcelot guy is,” says Bromel. “I’ve been living under a rock, apparently. But tell you what, I’m going to camp out in your front yard and if and when he shows up, I’ll joust him and defeat him and kill him, and then you’ll love me again!”
“That’s a bad plan,” says Elaine.
“Not listening!” cries Bromel. He goes and camps out on Castle Corbin’s lawn.
DISCUSSION QUESTION: I think Elaine is correct inasmuch as Bromel’s plan is a bad one. In fact, I can think of three problems with the plan. One, Launcelot would defeat Bromel in a joust in about five seconds. Two, Launcelot has left Castle Corbin and gave no indication he would ever return. Three, Elaine just isn’t into Bromel. Bromel probably thinks that he’s a Nice Guy and that therefore he is entitled to ownership of Elaine, but that is not how life works, Bromel, and most so-called Nice Guys are actually self-obsessed assholes who camp out on the front lawns of their would-be girlfriends, planning to joust all passersby.
THAT WASN’T A QUESTION: Okay, sure, I got one. Can you think of any additional problems with Bromel’s plan?