Tristram, Gareth, and Dinadan ride on, leaving Palomides behind.  They stop overnight in a castle, where Tristram notices the lord giving him the stink eye.

“What’s up?” he demands.

“You’re Sir Tristram de Liones, right?” the lord says.  “You killed my brother!”

“…I have no memory of that,” Tristram says.  “But hey, I’ve killed a bunch of guys.  Some of them are bound to have had brothers.  So, okay.  Sure.  I killed your stupid brother.  Do you have an invoice or something?”

“Screw you!” cries the local lord.  But he can’t just attack Tristram, what with the bounds of hospitality and all, so they don’t fight until the next morning, after breakfast.  Then Tristram mortally wounds him and wanders off.

 

Shortly afterwards Tristram, Gareth, and Dinadan bump into… you’ll never guess who!  It’s Mister 100, you guys!  My favorite character from Book I!  And get this, Malory has a real bomb to drop on us today…. Mister 100’s real name!

He’s Sir Berrant le Apres, which means, according to a quick googling, Berrant the After.  I don’t get it.  But he’s Berrant!  Our boy Berrant rides up, with his buddy Sir Segwarides along too.  They’re on their way to the big tournament at Lonazep.  Lots of guys on the road to Lonazep.

Mister 100 notices Tristram’s distinctive face-concealing helmet he’s been wearing since Chapter 50 or so, and bristles.  See, this helmet has a little history.  Tristram got it as a gift from the lovely Isoud, and she was given it as a present by the Queen of Northgalis, who needed to unload it because it was the helmet her lover was wearing the time the King of Northgalis walked in on them.

So Mister 100 sees the helmet, recognizes it from the King of Northgalis’s description, and assumes that Tristram is the nogoodnik who’s been having an affair with the Queen of Northgalis.

Hilarity ensues.  Mister 100 dehorses Dinadan, and then he and Tristram fight, with Tristram winning on points but not getting a knockout.  Segwarides wants in on the action, and offers to joust Sir Gareth, but Tristram objects.

“Hey, now, there’s literally no reason for you two to joust,” he says.

“That has not stopped anybody else!” cries Segwarides, and Gareth agrees!  They joust.  Segwarides wins.

Mister 100 says something about hoping someone learned their lesson, and then he and Segwarides stagger off.

 

Tristram notes that Dinadan has been dehorsed a bunch of times in the last few chapters, and Gareth lost pretty badly to Segwarides, and decides to put the whole Lonazep trip he’s been doing for the last four chapters on hold.  Instead he takes Dinadan and Gareth back home to Joyous Gard, where Isoud nurses them back to health.

Isoud also has a laugh about how Dinadan didn’t recognize Tristram and got beaten up.  She’s still annoyed about the whole not-jousting-on-her-say-so thing Dinadan pulled.


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Primary Sources: Le Morte D’Arthur, Book X, Chapter 60 — No Comments

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