So Tristram and Bleoberis meet, and they have a conversation that goes more or less like this.
“Surrender Sally!” shouts Tristram.
But Bleoberis replies with a snort. “No! What are you, Cornish? I don’t abide uppity Cornish knights.”
(For her part, Sally is all, “Tristram! Hello! Are you going to joust for me? That’s hot!” but no one pays her any mind, least of all Malory. For reference, I’m inventing pretty much all of her lines.)
“Listen, Bleoberis, I defeated two Knights of the Round Table on my way over here, so…”
Bleoberis perks up. “Two knights? Who?”
“Sagramore and Dodinas, known as the Lusty Knight and the Thuggish Knight, respectively.”
Bleoberis bites his lip. “Really? You defeated them both? Hmm, probably I should just return Sally here to you. She’s not worth it. But I suppose I’m honor-bound.”
So Bleoberis and Tristram dismount and set up a little jousting field, and Sally sits and watches them sword-fight for, no lie, two hours. It’s inconclusive.
“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Bleoberis says, after a couple of hours have gone by. “Listen, Sir… what’s your name?”
“Didn’t I say already? I’m King Meliodas’s son by Queen Elizabeth, nephew of King Mark of Cornwall, knight of Liones, Sir Tristram.”
“Oh, hey, nice to meet you,” says Bleoberis. “I’ve heard of you. You killed Sir Marhaus in Chapter VII, and you fought Sir Palamides in Chapter IX, and also Sir Gawaine and nine knights that were traveling with Sir Gawaine. At the time Malory claimed Palamides was the one who defeated them, but it was totally you, I’m sure. Or at least you get credit for it, since you won the tournament as a whole.”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Tristram says. “And who are you, again?”
“I’m still Sir Bleoberis de Ganis, knight of the royal family of France, and cousin of Sir Launcelot the celebrated knight. He’s the best knight ever!”
“That’s true, he is,” agrees Tristram. “Hmm. Launcelot’s cousin. Maybe we should just call this one a draw. I’d hate to kill you and have him show up to avenge you.”
“I’d be happy to accept a draw,” says Bleoberis. “I don’t even remember what we were fighting about!”
“AHEM!” Sally clears her throat loudly. “If you aren’t going to fight over me any more, you could at least make out a little?”
“No, no, we won’t be doing that. Come on back to Cornwall with me,” says Tristram.
“Or you can run off with me,” says Bleoberis. “Either way. We’ll abide by your decision.”
Sally hems and haws and finally announces that since Tristram waited until after Bleoberis had already defeated her husband Segwarides to ride after her — as though she wasn’t really a priority to him and he could leave her to someone else? — She chooses Bleoberis.
Tristram isn’t happy. “What? No! I only agreed to this because I assumed you’d choose me!”
“Sounds to me like the lady made her choice,” says Bleoberis.
Sally nods. “Yeah! If you don’t care enough to steal me away from my oaf of a husband, why shouldn’t I run off with the prince of France? Just go back to Cornwall and leave us, and I won’t come back to this country until Segwarides’s funeral.”
“Not cool,” says Tristram. “What am I going to tell Mark?”
“Listen, let me level with you,” Bleoberis says to Tristram, taking him aside. “I’m kind of in the middle of a strange adventure and I need a woman for it, and Mark said I could have her, and as soon as the adventure is done I’ll send her back to her husband, knight’s honor.”
“Man, okay. Fine. Really it’s my own fault,” muses Tristram. “She’s right; I should have been the one to chase after you. Oh well, live and learn.”
So they shake hands and split up. Tristram goes back to Tintagil, and Bleoberis completes his strange adventure and drops off Sally at an abbey where he tells her Segwarides is interred, which turns out to just be a half-truth as he’s isn’t dead, just crippled. Segwaridies is happy to see Sally, and Sally pretends to be happy to have been returned to her rightful owner, I mean husband, and Sally even goes so far as to smooth things over with Segwarides for Tristram, by explaining that really, Tristram ultimately arranged for Bleoberis to take her back to Cornwall.