Primary Sources: Le Morte D’Arthur, Book III Chapter X
Tor and Peter dismount, and Tor puts his finger to his lips, and Peter nods. Tor hands Peter a glaive and indicates Peter should guard the horses.
Tor sneaks up on the tents, and peeks into the white one, where three maidens have been lingerie-fighting, apparently, and they got all tuckered out and collapsed in a heap together on the bed. Tor considers taking some time to leer, but decides against it; he’s on a quest, after all. Then Tor sneaks over to the red one and peeks in, and sees a lady sleeping, curled up with the white hound.
The white hound isn’t asleep, and she starts barking as soon as she sees Tor. Tor acts quickly: he dashes in, grabs the dog, and runs dashes back towards the horses, quick like a bunny. The lady and her maidens wake up in the commotion, and come running after him, and poor Peter isn’t about to swipe at them with a glaive since they’re ladies, but they aren’t combatants, either, so Tor and Peter mount back up and all the ladies can do is mount strenuous objections.
“Why are you taking my dog?” asks the lady.
“I’m on a quest to find the dog, and also the knight who came with it. You haven’t seen him, have you?” responds Tor.
“I wouldn’t tell you if I had,” says the lady. “I can’t stop you from stealing my new dog, but I can tell you it won’t go well for you.”
“Whatever,” says Tor. “This quest has been super easy so far. I got Peter here, a dwarf squire of my own, and also I peeked at four hot ladies while they slept! No comeuppance for me!”
He and Peter ride off.
“We should head back to Camelot and drop this dog off,” says Tor. Maybe he says that because the dog is yapping and biting him, I dunno. “It’s too late to make it back there tonight, though. Do you know of a place to stay, Peter?”
“I don’t, sorry,” says Peter. “Well, except for that hermitage.”
“I guess that counts,” says Tor.
Peter and Tor barge into the hermitage and take advantage of the hermit’s hospitality, meager though it is. In the morning they’re most of the way back to Camelot when they hear shouting behind them.
“You! Hey, you! Come back here! You stole my girlfriend’s dog!”
Tor and Peter stop and wheel around and, sure enough, there’s the knight they were looking for. His name, Malory tells us, is Abellus.
“I don’t remember him being so tall, so heavily-armored, or so well-armed,” says Tor.
“Maybe you should take your glaive back and I’ll just watch the horses,” says Peter.
Tor and Abellus joust, and it goes on for quite a while, and eventually they’re both pretty badly beaten, though not quite die-from-your-wounds levels like Balin and Balan. Tor eventually gets the upper hand, and while Abellus is taking a knee asks for his surrender.
“No,” pants Abellus. “You stole my girlfriend’s dog, I’ve got to get it back or else die in the attempt.”
“Guy, it’s just a dog,” says Tor. “I don’t want to have to kill you over a dog. I’ve never killed anybody.”
“You don’t have to kill me,” points out Abellus.
“I kinda do,” says Tor. “My quest is to bring you and this dog back to Camelot. Preferably both alive, but if I have to kill you, that’s life.”
Vocabulary Word of the Chapter: Yede, meaning went. “Therewith the lady yede out of the pavilion and all her damosels.”
Discussion Question: Gawaine is to Goofus as Tor is to whom?
Primary Sources: Le Morte D’Arthur, Book III Chapter X — No Comments
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