Primary Sources: Le Morte D’Arthur, Book II Chapter V
Chapter V picks up right on the heels of Chapter IV, making it another one of those odd midscene breaks without much in the way of a clear reason for the break.
Merlin finishes his story. “So Queen Lile gave her a magical sword and told her that only a knight destined to murder a brother with it could pull it from its sheathe. Wilma was under the mistaken impression that the brother in question would be her own; Lile’s tricky that way. Anyway, she went around to all the courts in hopes to recruiting someone to do it. She couldn’t tell the knights the truth of the story, so framed it as a curse. Hence the chastity belt angle. She was up to no good the whole time, I swear.”
“Man,” says Arthur. “That’s, wow. Man. When I say I hate strange adventures this is exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I wish she hadn’t come to your court, but she did, so, water under the bridge.” Merlin shrugs in a what can you do? sort of way. “Now Balin is out there with a sword destined to kill someone’s brother, which is a shame, because while Balin is as stupid as toast he’s also a powerful knight, and with a magic sword he’ll be pretty well unstoppable.”
“Hmm,” says Arthur, and debates whether or not to mention sending Lanceor after Balin.
“It’s also a shame,” says Merlin, “inasmuch as Balin’s motivation is to honor you and get back in your good graces. Too bad he’s doomed, he’s not really a bad guy. Plus, again, he’s unstoppable in combat. Doubly so with the magic sword.”
“On a completely unrelated note, do you know if Sir Lanceor has any brothers or sisters?”
Meanwhile Lance has loaded up his best armor and weaponry and ridden off after Balin, and after a good bit of hard riding he catches up.
“You!” cries Lance. “I challenge you in Arthur’s name!”
“Hello! My name is Balin! Nice to meet you! Is that an Irish accent I detect?” asks Balin.
“Yes,” says Lance. “I am Irish, but I’m here to kill you on a mission from Arthur!”
“Aw!” Balin is crestfallen. “Is Arthur still mad at me?” he asks. “It’s been hours! I was hoping he’d have gotten over it by now. She was an evil lady. The guest of the court whose head I lopped off while she was in mid-conversation with the king, I mean. She was so bad.”
“Shut up and joust!” cries Lance. Which would be a good title for a reality show wherein contestants compete for the title of America’s Next Top Jouster.
Long story short, Balin kills the hell out of him.
You should reach out to the producers of “Full Metal Jousting”, see what they think of your suggestion …
I had no idea there was such a show. Damn.