OG-OGOG: In the House of Reason there are many doors —
ZAM: In the House of Og-Ogog there are many whores!
OG-OGOG: I beg you pray listen to my lecture!
ZIM: He begs us pray enrich his prefecture!
OG-OGOG: This is unproductive.
LORD IRON: Indeed yes. Silence!
ZAM: Is Golden!
LORD IRON: Silence!
ZIM: Is Golden!
LORD IRON: Kill them.
(the Sergeant-at-Arms does so)
ZAM: I am undone! (dies)
ZIM: He was no fun! (dies)
LORD IRON: On the subject of the Giholick I have myriad questions.
OG-OGOG: Its virtues are singular.
LORD IRON: They say it may swell to the size of a townhouse, with fangs and teeth envenomed. The merest bite and a strong man dies within the hour.
OG-OGOG: Of course they exaggerate.
LORD IRON: Then the growth?
OG-OGOG: The size of a bungalow, at most.
LORD IRON: And the teeth?
OG-OGOG: Are indeed envenomed, but the potency of the toxin…
LORD IRON: Will a strong man die?
OG-OGOG: Over the course of a week.
LORD IRON: I am reassured only up to a certain point.
OG-OGOG: Serious times call for serious measures.
LORD IRON: I begin to understand. Will naught stop the beast?
OG-OGOG: Bloodletting or blunt trauma — in sufficient dosage — same as any man.
LORD IRON: Though no man it be. What of its monstrous vibration?
OG-OGOG: The giholick fears the scent of onions and the taste of salt.
LORD IRON: How might I protect myself? Shall I cast a spell of _drydeath_?
OG-OGOG: You are a magister?
LORD IRON: Indeed no. But how hard can it be?
OG-OGOG: The giholick would almost certainly survive, as would you and I. Perhaps Orid would fall…
LORD IRON: Is that a yes or a no?
OG-OGOG: I have not decided yet.
(There is a pause, for laughter)
LORD IRON: How can I defend myself from its slavering hunger?
OG-OGOG: Do as I do. Bathe in a soup of salt and onion.
LORD IRON: To the bathhouse!
SARGEANT-AT-ARMS: Sire, the bathhouse lies in ruins.
LORD IRON: To the salting house, then!
(All exeunt. Enter GENTLE ORID and FARRBERR. FARRBERR wears his Giholick-Suit.)
From Act III, Scene III of _A Little Bit of Nothing_, by Immerstate.
SEE ALSO: Drydeath, Immerstate the Prolific, Monstrous Vibrations
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