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In which Sir Tristram wins his first tournament and is a jerk like three different ways

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

A month went by. Tristram just lay there in bed. His wound had become infected: Marhaus’s spear was poisoned with some nasty Irish poison. It wasn’t looking good four our boy. Mark sent out the call for a doctor or … Continue reading →

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In which Sir Tristram has his first strange adventure

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

Meanwhile, King Mark of Cornwall decided to stop paying taxes to his liege lord, King Anguish of Ireland. Seven years passed with no consequences before Anguish decided to take action. He sent his brother-in-law, Sir Marhaus of the Round Table, … Continue reading →

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In which Young Tristram survives two murder attempts

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

But in medieval times, one couldn’t be a king and not have a wife, apparently. After seven years, an impossibly long mourning period by the standard of the day, Meliodas reluctantly married a princess from Brittany — the daughter of … Continue reading →

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In which Tristram is born and slays his first damosel

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

Books VIII, IX, and X of Le Morte D’Arthur form mostly a single narrative, which sounds way, way better than it is, because what it is is a meandering narrative that has no point and very little dramatic arc. So … Continue reading →

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In which there are multiple jousting sequences for no good reason

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

The jousting tournament occurred! (JOUSTING TOURNAMENT 16!) Gareth assembled all his new vassals — the Red Knight, the Green Knight, the Indigo Knight, and the other Red Knight — and lined them up to be on his side in the … Continue reading →

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In which nothing happens, very slowly

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

We turn from the crazy sitcom of Gareth and his gal pal Lionesse and her shrewish sister Linet and their milquetoast brother Gringamore. Back in Camelot (or Caerlaeon, which is where Malory puts Arthur’s court this time) Pentecost had come … Continue reading →

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In which there is a weird sex farce sequence

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

You may think that at this point Sir Gareth’s strange adventure is over, but no! Even though the villain had been defeated, there was still a ways to go. Afterward the joust ended, Gareth tried to get into Castle Dangerous … Continue reading →

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In which Gareth meets Lionesse, the not-horrible one

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

After defeating the Red Knight, Sir Gareth finally called Linet to task about her absurd attitude. He wasn’t so much upset about it being abusive and embarrassing, as he was about it being inaccurate: he was actually a very competent … Continue reading →

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In which Linet and Gareth totally aren’t falling in love as they fight and travel together, why would you get that idea?

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

So fade to black, cut to commercial, and fade back in with Linet tromping across the countryside and Gareth trailing on behind her. The implication is that they had been going like this for quite a while. As they pass … Continue reading →

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In which Gareth meets Linet

Primary Sources Posted on September 4, 2010 by jeffwikSeptember 4, 2015

A year later, at the next Pentecost, we once again find Arthur anxiously awaiting the annual strange adventure. Finally a page came in. “It’s cool, sire!” the page told him. “There’s a girl here with a strange adventure!” Now this … Continue reading →

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