The Spartan emissaries invited themselves over to Cyrus’s, strolled right into his pancake breakfast. No hesitation in getting the big man’s attention! “Yo!” Finger snaps. “So you get that you’re not allowed to invade Greece, right? Including those regions which in the … Continue reading →
Once Cyrus conquered Croesus and the Lydians, some of Croesus’s neighbors tried to surrender. “We totes want in on the sweet sweet vassalage setup Croesus is rocking,” they said. “Still alive, acting as Cyrus’s advisor, the population treated well and … Continue reading →
Cyrus embarked on a campaign of retrenchment, and next thing you knew, the Persian Empire stretched all across the Middle East and that brings us back around to Croesus foolishly picking a fight. Herodotus has a bunch of Persian Facts … Continue reading →
Cyrus called for an assembly of all the Persians, and although he had no official standing of any kind, they flocked to his banner. Once they were all together, he unfurled a freshly-forged writ and read off of it that … Continue reading →
Harpagos, the guy whom Astyages forced to eat his own son as punishment for not properly arranging for Cyrus’s death, eventually decided to make Cyrus the instrument of his vengeance, like you do. Fortunately for Harpagos, Astyages was cruising for … Continue reading →
Meantime Astyages had a problem: Young Cyrus. Back when Cyrus had been born, Astyages had a terrible prophetic dream he’d interpreted as meaning that Cyrus would usurp his throne and become king. He’d been helped in this by his magi, … Continue reading →
Ten years passed. Baby Cyrus grew up into Young Cyrus, a typically typical Persian village boy whose only claim to fame was that whenever all the kids in his village got together to play King & Spearmen & Laborers & … Continue reading →
At this point things get a little weird. Kyaxares’s son Astyages becomes king of the Medes. He has no son, but instead a daughter named Mandane, about whom he dreamed a dreadfully prophetic dream. In the dream, Mandane peed and … Continue reading →
Herodotus warns us that he’s done his best to reconstruct Cyrus’s origin story from contemporary accounts, but that most of those accounts were pretty clearly written with the goal of flattering the Persians, so, who knows? Also for some reason … Continue reading →
Croesus shouted exhortations at the heavens, reminding the gods that he wasn’t the worst guy ever, and begging them to save him. Apollo or someone took pity on him, and sent a freak rainstorm that allowed the Persians to extinguish … Continue reading →
