Mechanoid on the Prowl
ELI 4000 was bought on 11 May 2211 by Gerard Boutros-Boutros Lindstrom, venture capitalist, to navigate his space yacht Risky Ventures. Risky Ventures crashed into an oceanic planetoid (on 14 May 2211), killing human on board. ELI couldn’t help feeling partially responsible. He busied himself cleaning up the bodies, dusting, teaching himself how to play cribbage, but still, something was missing.
Wiling away the years trapped on the ocean’s floor, ELI gradually began to fantasize an alternate life for himself. In his fantasy life, ELI was a human, like his late owner. In fact, he was a jet-setting venture capitalist celebrity.
As the centuries turned to millennia, ELI’s fantasy grew steadily more elaborate. He envisioned himself – his wealthy and famous human self – searching interstellar space for a mate, finding the right girl, and settling down to raise a dozen children.
Now, nearly three million years later, ELI is in a sorry state. He is completely delusional and believes against all reason that he is human. As a defense mechanism, in fact, he has developed a dislike for mechanoids of all kinds, though (as he is alone in the wreckage of Risky Ventures) it remains an academic point. Also, ELI’s vision system is beginning to fail. He lost the 10x zoom feature in the crash and his internal repair systems never fully recovered.
His goal is to find a wife, preferably one with childbearing hips. It’s probably just as well he’s trapped at the bottom of an ocean.
Name: ELI 4000
Rank: N/A
Serial #: 581321345589X
Age: Old
Sex: N/A
Height: 1.70 m
Weight: 300 kg
Smoker? N
Eyes: Yes
Hair: No
Place of Birth: Diva Droid plant on Titan
Distinguishing Marks: Candy-apple red finish, novelty-condom head
Race: Mechanoid
Connections: Nil
Goals: To find a nice girl and settle down
Assets: Detachable hands (optional on the 4000 series)
Liabilities: Age, Asimov’s Law, Bad sense (unfocused eyes), Fanaticism (Silicon Heaven), Delusion (I am a human), Intolerance (Mechanoids), Obsession (Starting a family)
Behavior Tags: Blinks a lot, cynic, whistles
I Want to be Remembered For: My remarkable parenting skills
Tagline: “Excuse me, are you fertile?”
Agility 3
Athletics 2
Gunnery 2
Stealth 2
Pilot: Transport 4
Pilot: Capital Ship 3
Dexterity 3
Active Games 1
Demolitions 2
Repair 4
Strength 4
Endurance 2
Feat of Strength 2
Perception 2
Awareness 2
Passive Games 1
Cribbage 3
Intelligence 3
Astronavigation 2
Computer Ops 3
Culinary Arts 3
Curry 5
Language (Binary)
Life Sciences 2
Mathematics 4
Medicine 2
Theoretical Physics 3
Trivia 1
Willpower 2
Gear: Bottle of vindaloo sauce, pocket multitool, dogeared copy of Doctor Spock (45th edition)