Dolphin Hepcat
As far as the inhabitants of Oooba Cluster know, they have always been there. The Cluster was built by the gods who once ruled beneficently over the dolphins. Then came the fateful day, banished to the depths of prehistory, when the dolphins looked up from their constant screwing, discovered philosophy, and determined the gods didn’t actually exist.
“All this is a result of natural erosion,” they said to each other.
“What, even the museums and libraries?” they asked themselves.
“Yes,” they answered.
“Even the film vaults?”
“Yes. Erosion and other natural forces, like plate tectonics.”
“Even Back to the Future?”
“Especially Back to the Future!”
This led to the first recorded event in Dolphin history, the ‘Even Back to the Future? War.’ It was a dark time, shrouded in the mists the antiquity, when dolphin fought dolphin, podmate against podmate, in a bitter feud over whether their habitat was the wreckage of human civilization or the aftereffects of a receding glacier.
The ‘Even Back to the Future? War’ finally ended in the historic Random Cosmic Flotsam Accords (the details of which are now lost forever in the hoary days of yore) when it was agreed that Dolphin civilization was based upon random cosmic flotsam, not the deliberate act of any precursor species. A small minority, the Cult of Man, contends that in certain artifacts – Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, Van Gogh’s Starry Night, the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Second Edition Player’s Handbook, et al – there are traces of some longlost alien culture dissipated into the fog of yesteryear. Most educated Dolphins, however, laugh at (and refuse to have sex with) them.
Eddy has no strong opinion on the matter. He’s a musician – currently between engagements since being kicked out the band Barely Concealed Lusts by his podmates. Eddy plays, and has devoted his life to, Neo-Sophomoric jazz, a Dolphin style of music which to non-Dolphins sounds like the death throes of a peacock and to Dolphins sounds only slightly better. Eddy also refers to himself in the third person, in the hopes that it will foster in others the belief that he is an eccentric celebrity jazz hepcat star.
NB: As an evolved Dophlin, Eddy has normal human trait maxima and Social 1, Swim 1 skill bonuses. However, he suffers a –4 penalty on all rolls to resist seduction due to heightened dolphin sex drive.
Name: Eddy
Rank: N/A
Serial #: N/A
Age: 19
Sex: M
Height: 1.6 m
Weight: 68 kg
Smoker? N
Eyes: Little, beady
Hair: none
Place of Birth: Oooba Cluster
Distinguishing Marks: blowhole, tendency to wear loud Hawaiian shirts
Race: Evolved Dolphin
Connections: Oooba Cluster Noise Control, Barely Concealed Lusts
Goals: To get a band together and go national!
Assets: Acute Hearing, Charisma, Unusual Talent (Hold Breath for a Really Long Time)
Liabilities: Gullible, Moral Restriction (Vegetarian), Fanaticism (Neo-Sophomoric Jazz)
Behavior Tags: Speaks in third person, optimism
Eddy Wants to be Remembered For: Making some kicking tunes!
Tagline: “Hello Oooba! Are you ready to fillip? Eddy said, are you ready to fillip? Hello? Oooba?”
Agility 3
Dance 3
Neo-Sophomoric gyrations 5
Dexterity 4
Active Games (Pub) 2
Instrument: Electronic 3
Neo-Sophomoric generator 5
Strength 3
Swim 5
Perception 4
Aesthetics: Music 2
Neo-Sophomoric 4
Awareness 2
Empathy 1
Social 4
Intelligence 4
Anthropology 1
History 1
Theoretical Physics 1
Neo-Sophomoric Theory 3
Willpower 2
Resist 2
Gear: Hawaiian shirt, portable Neo-Sophomoric generator (treat as Doug McClure movie)