“Moe”
“Moe” is a GELF, a member of the Kinitawowi species, raised in GELF space at the outer reaches of what was once human space. The Kinitawowi have transcended the genetic programming the humans, their former masters, used to keep them in line: a race bred for slavery and manual labor has become a proud people of warriors and traders.
“Moe” was born to a mated pair of Kinitawowi traders, and learned astronavigation and merchantcraft as his mother’s knee. Now he carries on the family business in a brokedown old transport, shuttling from GELF world to GELF world. He speaks four languages, including Welsh, and knows a hundred local traders. He is forever on the move, always searching for the ultimate prize, the object of all his effort, the goal of his trade.
The ultimate prize is the Super MegaDeluxe Collector’s Complete Edition Collection of all forty-seven seasons of the Simpsons, widely recognized among the Kinitawowi as the greatest artistic achievement of all human civilization. “Moe” adores and worships the Simpsons, and does his best to live his life according to Homer’s wisdom. And Lisa’s wisdom, and Nelson’s, and so on.
“Moe” is also a prudent coward, because (he claims) he always asks himself “what would Homer do?”
Name: “Moe”
Rank: N/A
Serial #: N/A
Age: N/A
Sex: M
Height: 2.2 m
Weight: 137 kg
Smoker? N
Eyes: Big
Hair: Lots
Place of Birth: GELF space
Distinguishing Marks: Big, hairy, potbellied…
Race: Kinitawowi GELF
Connections: Kinitawowi
Goals: Make a fortune and spend it on the Super MegaDeluxe Collector’s Complete Edition Collection of all forty-seven seasons of the Simpsons
Assets: Stoicism (3), Double-Jointed (arms and legs)
Liabilities: Cowardice, Delusion (I am a clever, thinky flavor of hero), Obession (the Simpsons)
Behavior Tags: Quotes the Simpsons constantly, tries to be thinky
I Want to be Remembered For: Recovering the Simpsons, the greatest achievement of all humanity, and bringing it back to my tribe
Tagline: “’If anyone needs me I’ll be cowering in the drive room.’ ‘What kind of stupid catchphrase is that?’ Ha, ha… seriously, I’ll be in the drive room.”
Agility 3
Self-Defense 4
Pilot: Transport 3
Dexterity 2
Strength 6
Climb 2
Endurance 2
Strength Feat 2
Perception 3
Awareness 3
Bargain 4
Intelligence 4
Computer Ops 2
Culinary Arts 2
Language (English, Kinitawowi, Esperanto, Welsh)
Medicine 3
Trivia: 20th Century Culture 1
Simpsons 3
Willpower 2
Intimidation 3
Gear: Six or seven nonconsecutive seasons of the Simpsons on digital media, Bartlett’s Familiar Simpsons Quotations, crates and crates of old Simpsons comics.