Sometimes I write things

There are many kinds of Renaissances. The local (such as the Eadle’s Corners Renaissance) and the national (such as the Italian Renaissance) are well-known, but the student of Renaissance history would do well to avoid overlooking the global (such as the Earthican Renaissance), personal (such as the Eugene Stanhope Renaissance), and conceptual (such as the Tripartite Commissary Review Renaissance). Rather than attempt to exhaustively discuss the ins and outs of every kind of Renaissance, this short article will instead describe a few examples in turn, to indicate the breadth of variety which characterizes the category Renaissance.

The Fire Renaissance

For millennia Fire had been the underdog among the four elements. Air, Water, and Earth controlled vast tracts of existence – sky, sea, and ground, respectively – while Fire’s dominion was much more limited. “I am Mistress only of a handful of volcanoes, which I must share with the Earth, and of a few forest blazes, which are tragically transient and bereft of significance on the larger scale, though they are certainly pretty,” Fire declared.

All this changed at the onset of the Fire Renaissance, when humans (hitherto considered a minor part of Earth’s domain, for they were constructed of dust and could be used to grow plants) learned Fire as a tool, and with tongues of flame spread forth in destructive conquest. Men and women, fatted on cooked food and wielding flame-hardened weaponry, sprawled across Earth’s domain. Fire sat back and chortled as the apes by their deeds swore fealty to her.

Fire’s domain has expanded by leaps and bounds: Fire-propelled craft probe sea and sky, making inroads into Air and Water. Will this Renaissance continue till all the world’s a cinder, or whether some other force will choke back the stoked flames of human civilization? Who cares?

The 1919 Oak Street Renaissance

The Montemp family of 1919 Oak Street has lately undergone a Renaissance.

• The elder son Hector Montemp recently shaved off that ungodly awful teenage mustache he was trying to grow, making an undeniable improvement in not just his appearance, but that of the family as a whole.
• Hector has also reconsidered his longtime ambition to become a professional television critic in favor of becoming a professional rock pianist, and at this stage in his artistic career his improvement is rapid and easily detectable to even the untrained musicologist. Margot Montemp successfully identified the song her son was playing as ‘Greensleeves’ on the first guess.
• Daughter Urtha Montemp finally broke it off with that loser Billy Organ or Orton or whatever his name was. I’m telling you that kid was a junkie, and thank God Urtha’s not in with that crowd any more.
• Urtha has however decided to go to an out-of-state school, and since she knows her parents don’t have any kind of money for that, she’s really focusing on academic scholarships. She’s always been told what kind of potential she has, potential that up to this point she’s been frittering away. Her SATs are next week, and she’s been taking practice tests.
• Did you hear that? Urtha is taking practice tests because she wants to do well! I’m so proud.
• Youngest child Jason Montemp recently won Final Fantasy X for the first time, and has expressed interest in trying out other games. I’m hoping to steer him towards FF9, FF7, FF6, FF5, and FF4. Also FFT. He wants Final Fantasy X-2, but I’ve put the kibosh on that.
• Margot Montemp remains a vivacious and engaging conversationalist with a variety of interests, including the films of actor Kevin Costner.
• Practice tests!

The Strudel Renaissance

Strudel, long thought a quaint and antiquated breakfast pastry ill-suited to the demands of modern American life, exploded onto the frozen foods scene in the often-imitated but never-copied launch of Toaster Strudel. Initially derided as a mere expansion of the Pop Tart concept, Toaster Strudels quickly took their place as an important part of the balanced breakfast, in a riot of colors and flavors. The same nay-sayers and nabobs who denounced the beginning of the Strudel Renaissance have been quick to declare its stagnation and cessation.