1.6 Dragon (part one)
Open with, unusually, snow. A little burst of static, and then local news from somewhere not at all local.
“…John, the polls have just closed after what I am sure has been one of the most eventful by-elections in recent memory. I don’t think this much attention has been paid to a state senate seat since the Heavy Water scandal of 1965… very high turnout for summertime by-election, spurred on by the series of shocking –”
“I’m going to have to interupt you there, Diane, because we need to announce — Channel Six has, I’ve just been informed, Channel Six is prepared to announce a projected winner based on exit polls… votes are still being counted but with based on exit polls and seven percent of precincts reporting, we have… I’m sorry, I’ve just been informed that… seventy, seventy percent of precincts are reporting and the likely winner, the winner as picked by Channel Six Action News…”
Pull back from the television set — John is stalling, they won’t know the winner for an hour or two yet — and we’re in Alvin’s campaign headquarters. A small team of loyal, enthused volunteers fends off a small but equally enthused team of reporters. Alvin is nowhere to be seen — Millie is running the show. “Please, please,” she tells the local news reporters. “It’s Wednesday night and the candidate has an important prior commitment.”
CUT to Nilva the Filcher, or more specifically the little unpainted pewter figure which stands in for Nivla. Nivla creeps stealthily into the dark unknown, represented by empty space on the graph-paper expanse. As the figure slides forward (stop-motion animation) the pencilled outline of a vast oval-shaped cavern, as Oliver narrates in voice-over.
“Nilva creeps…” There’s a brief pause and the sound of rolling dice… “stealthily into the cavern, unsure of what he will find.”
Suddenly a brobdingnagian pewter figure of a dragon fills most of the oval cave!
“GWAR!” cries Oliver. “The Super-Unique Double-Huge Venerable Wyrm Black and Blue Dragon! He appears to be…” Oliver rolls more dice. “Sleeping on his massive treasure! Silver! Gold! Electrum! As far as you can see…”
The mounds of electrum are sketched in on the graph paper.
CUT to the players and Oliver seated in the Lauro basement around the gaming table. “Okay, I’m looking around,” Alvin says. “Do I see the…”
“Six gnomish hirelings? No! But you do see their bodies! Their charred skeletons are lined up in front of the sleeping GWAR!”
“Oh, we totally have to rescue them,” Alvin says.
“They’re dead!” Cassie points out.
“We can still rescue them, get them to a high priest to perform a resurrection of the body on them,” Alvin says. “After all, they’re dead because of us.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Ferdinand grumbles.
“The bodies are only resurrectable for 2d4 days after expiration,” Andrew says.
“Plenty of time,” Alvin says.
“Okay, okay,” Oliver says. “What are you doing? You remember what the Advice Fish on level six told you. GWAR is vulnerable only on one tiny patch on his belly, but no one has ever been sneaky enough to sneak up on him while he’s sleeping and backstab him.”
Cassie looks thoughtful.
“No one yet,” Alvin says. “Nilva will don his girdle of +3 surreptitude, then sneak up, I mean, he’ll… Andrew, help me out here.”
“‘Advance sneakily,’” Andrew says. “Advancing sneakily gives a plus ten percent bonus underground. Plus fifteen percent in limestone caves, but we’re in hewn stone.”
“Backstab him in the belly?” Cassie asks.
“Nilva will ‘advance sneakily’ up on GWAR, then backstab him in his weak point in the belly!”
“Do you have to, like, reach around?”
“Nah, I can do it.” Alvin gets up from the table and pantomimes sneaking, which looks a lot like Tai Chi.
“Okay. Roll it,” Oliver tells Alvin.
Alvin rolls a red ten-sided die and a blue ten-sided die… quick shots of all the players looking on in wonder, bated breath… and…
“Failure!” Oliver is beside himself with glee. “You wake up GWAR! GWAR looks down at your tiny, puny form –”
Cutaway to shot of the pewter figurines, demonstrating Nilva’s relative puniness.
“‘Oh mighty GWAR,’” Alvin says without missing a beat, “‘I come to you as a supplicant and as a messenger for another! Spare me, great dragon, until you have heard his words of wisdom and counsel! For the one whom I serve is both mighty and wise!’ And I point to Kevin the Cleric!”
CUT to Ferdinand, clearly taken aback. He opens his mouth and says “Uhhh….”
OPENING CREDITS.