1.3 Succubus (part six)
Datur, in character as Mobius the Dark Queen of Muncie, watches as Morgan and Andrew start their fake blood duel. Just before they actually begin to play Potatoes, though, they turn to the dais and let out a yell.
Ferdinand is standing in the doorway of the warehouse, looking on wide-eyed as Datur, resplendent, shouts down her opposition. A cut to Ferdinand’s POV: panning shots of black-and-white dingy LARPers gives way to Datur, in living color (not the distorted miscolor of Aphids, either, but rich wine and burgundy shades) and slo-mo and practically glowing. Music swells.
Superimposition of Ferdinand’s character sheet over the practically-glowing Datur. First, pan down to the ten-dot track and erase all ten dots. Second, pan up to the Life Goals section.
LIFE GOALS:
1) Make Fabulous Movies Without Compromising Integrity
2) Let Datur Down Gently
3) Win Three Consecutive Best Director Oscars
4) Love and Be Loved, Cultivate Friendships
5) Stay Physically Fit, Read More, Develop Well-Rounded Lifestyle
6) Remake the Thin Man
becomes
LIFE GOALS:
1) Love, Protect, Cherish, Please Datur
1) (tie) Be Worthy of Her Love
1) (tie) Raise Our Child
4) Filmmaking Yadda Yadda
Snap back to reality and
Still in slo-mo, Ferdinand sees Andrew and Morgan moving towards Datur, and Morgan’s two katanas. He shouts a slo-motion “No!” and dashes across the room past the LARPers to the dais.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this, you get her,” Morgan tells Andrew. Andrew nods and continues past Ferdinand.
As Ferdinand moves closer to Morgan, Morgan sets aside a katana and folds one hand into the proper shape for Potatoes. Then Ferdinand body-checks Morgan and knocks him not just over but back about eight feet. Morgan crumples, knocks his head against the bottom of the dais.
Suddenly everything gets quiet. All the LARPers, including Datur and Andrew, stop what they’re doing and stare at Ferdinand.
“Physical contact!” gasps someone.
“Dude, that’s not cool,” someone else says.
“Ferdinand?” Datur asks. “What are you doing here?”
“…saving you…?”
Datur looks at Ferdinand with a mixture of pity and contempt.
“…garden party…?”
“Oh, that,” Datur says. She checks her watch and winces. “Sorry, I just lost track of time. I’ve had so much fun today!” She laughs, not a nervous titter but an actual laugh. “I’m the Dark Queen of Muncie! Me, Datur Elbe! Queen Mobius!”
Ferdinand moves his lips but nothing comes out.
“It’s just so much fun, so lively, and everyone is so friendly and… oh, this is the most fun I’ve ever had!”
“…the most fun, ever?” Ferdinand manages to say, and looks hurt.
“Yeah. Listen, Ferdinand, I’ve been thinking, and… I don’t really think it’s working out between us. With the, uh…” Datur’s twitchiness reappears, but only transiently; she’s telling a fib about whether she told a fib. “…false alarm…”
“…huh?”
She shakes her head as if to clear it. “You’re just too negative for me. Too negative. I really care for you a lot, though, and I hope we can still be friends.” Datur flashes a quick smile at Ferdinand, then takes two steps back. “Consort!”
Luculus steps out from the shadows. “Yes, my mistress?”
“I grow weary of this. Take me away,” Datur commands him.
“Who was that?” Luculus asks her.
“Oh, that’s just someone I used to know,” Datur says to Luculus as he leads her away. She smiles broadly at him as they walk out of frame.
Ferdinand looks like he’s been kicked in the chest by a horse.
LIFE GOALS:
1) Love, Protect, Cherish, Please Datur
1) (tie) Be Worthy of Her Love
1) (tie) Raise Our Child
4) Filmmaking Yadda Yadda
becomes
LIFE GOALS:
1) Love, Protect, Cherish, Please Datur
1) (tie) Be Worthy of Her Love
3) Filmmaking Yadda Yadda
4) Drink Self to Death
Ferdinand falls over, and is helped up by Andrew. The LARP seems to be over; the crowd is dispersing. Andrew, who couldn’t be happier, helps Ferdinand up and takes him home (on the back of his Segway). Ferdinand has trouble walking, says he can’t feel his legs.
Andrew drops Ferdinand off at the garden party, which is likewise wrapping up, just as Alvin is leaving. Alvin is smiling, and claps Andrew and Ferdinand both on the back.
“It’s been quite a night,” Andrew says.
“Quite a night,” Alvin agrees.
“Yeah,” murmurs Ferdinand. “Thank god it’s over.”
Cut to the Ball State outdoor pool, late Saturday night. There’s a diving tower, and we pan up past the first board, up past the second board, to the third and highest board. Standing on the third and highest board, in a swimsuit, is Cassie.
CLOSING CREDITS
Scenes from next week: Andrew and Oliver, poring over maps of Bermuda
Triangle. Ferdinand, shattered, in back yard. Alvin asking Cassie - no,
Millie - to be his campaign manager.